A New Chapter
There are so many things going on in my life right now that I can't
keep the straight! And so many things that involve others and their new
life journeys. And so much of this hit me last night.
I have been in the process for a month of packing up my apartment. No I am not moving to a new apartment...I am just moving down a floor. Why you ask? My sister, and one of my best friends, will be living with me. If you would have asked us 1 1/2 ago there would have been no way we would have agreed. It's amazing how time changes things. So last night, right before bed, I realized that it was the last night sleeping in the apartment. As as most of you know I am a very sentimental person. So it shouldn't be a shocker that I was a little emotional. It's amazing how much sentimental value that apartment holds. It was my very first place. It was where I learned what it was like to live on my own. It was where I was reminded of all the bills that I needed to take care of myself. It was the places where I experimented in the kitchen and was very will to try new things (this was a very rare thing for me. And now I have found I am more willing to try and fail then not try at all). It's a place that holds so many great memories.
Last night I also had the chance to sit around and visit with some "old" college friends. As I sat around the room, I realized almost every single person in that room is getting ready to leave Indiana. Really. Almost everyone. Everyone talked about where they are going, the new adventures they'd have, their nerves and I would just respond, "Yep. I'll still be here." Don't get me wrong, I am incredibly happy for them but at that moment I started doubting my passions, my dreams. People call me crazy but I don't want to leave Indiana. I just can't leave my family. But with everyone talking about their great move I started feeling almost like a failure. After school I didn't move to a new place and meet a bunch of new people. I started in a workplace where I already knew 75% of my coworkers. I didn't start some great adventure. But as I chatted with my sister, I think she put it best (and a little blunt), "You are considering it success if you leave Indiana?! Ash, that is dumb." And she is right. No one should consider themselves unsuccessful if they are doing something they love. We have to look at our selves as individuals and think about our own unique needs, wants, dreams. Ok, now that I say it it seems so obvious. But I think when we're surrounded by others, it's easy to drift away from yourself.
So take away whatever you'd like from this blog. I just think the most important thing to remember is not to base your accomplishments and successes on others.
I have been in the process for a month of packing up my apartment. No I am not moving to a new apartment...I am just moving down a floor. Why you ask? My sister, and one of my best friends, will be living with me. If you would have asked us 1 1/2 ago there would have been no way we would have agreed. It's amazing how time changes things. So last night, right before bed, I realized that it was the last night sleeping in the apartment. As as most of you know I am a very sentimental person. So it shouldn't be a shocker that I was a little emotional. It's amazing how much sentimental value that apartment holds. It was my very first place. It was where I learned what it was like to live on my own. It was where I was reminded of all the bills that I needed to take care of myself. It was the places where I experimented in the kitchen and was very will to try new things (this was a very rare thing for me. And now I have found I am more willing to try and fail then not try at all). It's a place that holds so many great memories.
Last night I also had the chance to sit around and visit with some "old" college friends. As I sat around the room, I realized almost every single person in that room is getting ready to leave Indiana. Really. Almost everyone. Everyone talked about where they are going, the new adventures they'd have, their nerves and I would just respond, "Yep. I'll still be here." Don't get me wrong, I am incredibly happy for them but at that moment I started doubting my passions, my dreams. People call me crazy but I don't want to leave Indiana. I just can't leave my family. But with everyone talking about their great move I started feeling almost like a failure. After school I didn't move to a new place and meet a bunch of new people. I started in a workplace where I already knew 75% of my coworkers. I didn't start some great adventure. But as I chatted with my sister, I think she put it best (and a little blunt), "You are considering it success if you leave Indiana?! Ash, that is dumb." And she is right. No one should consider themselves unsuccessful if they are doing something they love. We have to look at our selves as individuals and think about our own unique needs, wants, dreams. Ok, now that I say it it seems so obvious. But I think when we're surrounded by others, it's easy to drift away from yourself.
So take away whatever you'd like from this blog. I just think the most important thing to remember is not to base your accomplishments and successes on others.
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